#16DaysofActivism:To my lover Patrick from Stockholm

#16DaysMy Patrick, since birth I was doomed. The curse was laid when he said, "Congrats, its a girl." From then on my life was for the birds. You watched from the shadows as I grew up like some sick twisted paedophile. Hovered above me like a vulture stalking a starving African child.

Urban Culxure
Urban Culxure
By Thembie Terry Zulu
Thembie Terry Zulu
Thembie Terry Zulu
My Patrick, since birth I was doomed. The curse was laid when he said, “Congrats, its a girl.” From then on my life was for the birds. You watched from the shadows as I grew up like some sick twisted paedophile. Hovered above me like a vulture stalking a starving African child.
end2
I didn’t even know you existed. I just knew you were to be feared. Like a ghost. Not the friendly one but a more gruesome sight like Cassper with no vest. It took a village to raise this child. They barked orders and groomed me with societal norms for the day I’d finally meet you.
un
Betrothed to a fresh kind of hell where at the age of 12 I can consent and of course its for the sake of male pleasure because grown women have no use for a 12 year old boy that can’t rise to the occasion. Archie, only around puberty did I realize the extent of your reach.
Fifty boys and girls of various ages wearing the orange Strong Hands t-shirts and caps put on a flash mob dancing in sync. It was one of the events that took place at the National University of Lao, Dong Dok campus on December 4th. It was a joint collaboration amongst UN Women, UNFPA, NCAW, NUOL, Fanglao and Hoppin. "It is important for boys to respect girls because girls support us in everything we do, our Mothers have taken care of us, we have to do our part to take care of them." - Kaka, Director/Choreographer of Fanglao/Hoppin Photo: DANHO/Daniel Hodgson
Fifty boys and girls of various ages wearing the orange Strong Hands t-shirts and caps put on a flash mob dancing in sync. It was one of the events that took place at the National University of Lao, Dong Dok campus on December 4th. It was a joint collaboration amongst UN Women, UNFPA, NCAW, NUOL, Fanglao and Hoppin.
“It is important for boys to respect girls because girls support us in everything we do, our Mothers have taken care of us, we have to do our part to take care of them.”
– Kaka, Director/Choreographer of Fanglao/Hoppin
Photo: DANHO/Daniel Hodgson
Only then did I realize that you do in fact own me. And if twas just me it would be better but I’m literally one in a million. There have been others before me, there will be others after me. Girls are born everyday. Delusion was me believing I could be different. That I could change you. Tame you and make you mine.The more I struggled the stronger your grip on me. You took every opportunity to prove to me that I’m no longer my own. You could do whatever you want to me. You’d be wrong and yet it was I that would be apologizing.
un
Everything I do is wrong in your eyes. Only Joan could ever stand up to you, isn’t that why you gave her your name? Joan of Arc. Carl, I have officially given up. I surrender to your way of thinking. I despise my womanhood. Your ideology has saturated the market.
end2
I feel so stupid for daring to be different. Resistance was futile. You have altered my logical reasoning and forever dominated my thought processes. I can’t even pick out something to wear without wondering if you’ll approve. I am sorry for yearning for stuff you can’t give me.
16
I’m sorry that I wanted a level playing field and I apologize profusely that I am better than you. I know my place now as Queen of your status quo. I totally understand that the only time you feel like a man is when you are towering over me and your ladder to success is my spinal cord as you trample all over me.Doctor says I caught some syndrome in Stockholm but what does he know? He says I must consider leaving you if I’m to have a better life. I told him there’s no blessing in rebellion ask Queen Vashti.
end2
My religion confirms it. I wish they could see you the way I see you. A girl fulfilled because she has a man in her life. Behind you is where I was made to be.
16
They can’t free a happy slave. I’m happy submissive to you because after all I am a rib. The support system that takes all the hard knocks to protect an important organ. I had contemplated ending my life but rumour has it a man also runs the afterlife so better the devil I know. Patriarchal, I am forever yours.
thembie
Thembi Terry Zulu is co-founder of Girl Grandeur Zimbabwe – a social club for girls and a women’s rights activist. Thembi is a publicist by profession and a personal blogger on www.thecomplicatxn.co.zw