By Thembie Terry Zulu
My Patrick, since birth I was doomed. The curse was laid when he said, “Congrats, its a girl.” From then on my life was for the birds. You watched from the shadows as I grew up like some sick twisted paedophile. Hovered above me like a vulture stalking a starving African child.
I didn’t even know you existed. I just knew you were to be feared. Like a ghost. Not the friendly one but a more gruesome sight like Cassper with no vest. It took a village to raise this child. They barked orders and groomed me with societal norms for the day I’d finally meet you.
Betrothed to a fresh kind of hell where at the age of 12 I can consent and of course its for the sake of male pleasure because grown women have no use for a 12 year old boy that can’t rise to the occasion. Archie, only around puberty did I realize the extent of your reach.
Only then did I realize that you do in fact own me. And if twas just me it would be better but I’m literally one in a million. There have been others before me, there will be others after me. Girls are born everyday. Delusion was me believing I could be different. That I could change you. Tame you and make you mine.The more I struggled the stronger your grip on me. You took every opportunity to prove to me that I’m no longer my own. You could do whatever you want to me. You’d be wrong and yet it was I that would be apologizing.
I’m sorry that I wanted a level playing field and I apologize profusely that I am better than you. I know my place now as Queen of your status quo. I totally understand that the only time you feel like a man is when you are towering over me and your ladder to success is my spinal cord as you trample all over me.Doctor says I caught some syndrome in Stockholm but what does he know? He says I must consider leaving you if I’m to have a better life. I told him there’s no blessing in rebellion ask Queen Vashti.
They can’t free a happy slave. I’m happy submissive to you because after all I am a rib. The support system that takes all the hard knocks to protect an important organ. I had contemplated ending my life but rumour has it a man also runs the afterlife so better the devil I know. Patriarchal, I am forever yours.
Thembi Terry Zulu is co-founder of Girl Grandeur Zimbabwe – a social club for girls and a women’s rights activist. Thembi is a publicist by profession and a personal blogger on www.thecomplicatxn.co.zw