Happy Valentine’s Day. Here is a no-bars, unfiltered one on one with the force that is Patience Phiri. We break down so many topics; from urban, edgy terms and whether they should be used, to life as a career woman, to family.
KS: You seem to draw a lot of attention. Do you find the term MILF (Mum I’d Like to F*ck) offensive or a compliment?
PP: I think mums are allowed to be hot, no law against that. However, I don’t agree with the f*ck part. Women are more than sexual objects, nje.
KS: Why do you think society gets awkward when “mother,” and “sexy,” are in the same sentence?
PP: Do they? I think we just aren’t fully aware of how beautiful we are as people. Our many shades of brown skin, our body shapes and our thick lips. Our strength. Our resilience.
KS: As a working parent, have you felt inclined to downplay or justify love for your work?
PP: I am not shy or afraid of the path I have chosen (maybe it chose me). I have made plenty of sacrifices, there have been a lot of late nights, balancing acts and sometimes tears; but I wouldn’t change it. It’s all worth it in the end. Nobody ever said that it would be easy.
KS: Advice to women that are pressured to “dim down”?
PP: Funny, just last week, someone I consider full of wisdom sent me this quote, “Don’t let anyone dim your light, simply because it’s shining in their eyes.” I found that statement very powerful because at times we “dim our lights,” so as to accommodate others. No one is born mediocre. So go on and shine; no regrets, no apologies.
KS: As a single mother,is it comforting or annoying when strangers give you sympathy because “you are doing it alone”?
PP: I am not a single mother. I have an amazing support system. My son is being raised in a family full of love and support. He knows that he can trust in that network just as I have trusted and relied on it for the past eighteen years.
KS: What are your plans for Valentine’s Day?
PP: I believe in love being celebrated every day; not just on the 14th of February.
KS: Regarding new love, what “to-do” things should a woman consider when introducing a new man into her child’s life in the healthiest way possible?
PP: About introductions… Don’t rush into it and don’t force chemistry. Talk to both parties separately before introducing them to each other. Pray and hope for the best.
KS: What does self-love mean to you?
PP: Self-love is knowing that I can only love another if I know how to love myself. Self-love is knowing that I am one of a kind and deserve to be loved at my best, and loved at my worst. More than anything, self-love is putting myself first.
KS: What words of encouragement would you give to twenty-four-year-old Patience?
PP: Wow! I’d tell a twenty-four-old me that sometimes letting go is okay. Live for the moment and have no regrets. Go on road trips. See the world. Read more. Laugh loudly. Dance like no one is watching. Make friends that become family. Learn that “No,” too is an answer. Exercise often. Above all, be grateful for the gift of life.
Pictures Courtesy of : @cnczim