As the first bus left yesterday for the Annual Men’s Conference held at a secret location, most of the gents are yet to travel later today after work. The conference aims at promoting men’s financial liberation, through various workshops and seminars for those that will be in attendance. Due to the economic situation in the country, the number of Zimbos in attendance has significantly sky rocketed.
While you psych up for what promises to be the biggest testosterone filled event of the year, here is what we thought would be the best way of maximising your stay there.
1. Do not bring your PHONES!!!!
This is the first golden rule. The cell-phone has proved to be a distractive element in any human interactive society. The conference organisers advise against bringing cell-phones. Leave your phone at home and make sure it is SWITCHED OFF; you do not need to find your electronic wallet wiped out at these trying times that we are in.
2. Carry photos of your significant half.
There is going to be a photo beaming session, where all members in attendance will showcase their significant halves. This will be done so as to ensure that there are no duplicated “bundles of joy”. Please ensure that your pictures are in a flash drive and set in in the order of “Most Liked/Retweeted” on social media.
3. Business cards are a must
The conference will attract many men from all walks of life. It would be advisable to carry your business cards for exchanging. Who knows you might one day need that Doctor’s letter or a lawyer to bail you out. You might even need a friend for hire one of those days you come at 4am from “watching soccer with the guys”.
4. What happens at the Conference stays at the Conference.
One of the main reasons this conference was initiated by its founding fathers was to eliminate all snitches from the male fraternity. It is therefore prudent for all members in attendance to practice discretion especially after the conference. Do not bring cameras or voice recording gadgets. Those that will be caught leaking out any information pertaining the conference shall be barred from attending next year. They will also receive flowers on Mothers’ Day.
If you abide to all these instructions we assure you that you are going to have a great stay at the conference. You are also bound to come back a free and rejuvenated man. Don’t say we didn’t tell you. You will thank us later. Chiao