Home News Opinion & Advice Living In An Era Of Nudes And Revenge Porn.

Living In An Era Of Nudes And Revenge Porn.

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As we wind down the month of March, I thought we should talk about something that has become a “societal norm” within the global village we are living in; NUDES. Yes, let us talk about recording and sending nude images something that other people privately do, but will not boldly confess to it in public for fear of being “condemned”. We have all come across the “send me nudes” message atleast once in our lifetime before and according to how we feel about the person, we have either sternly snubbed the request or visited the bedroom or bathroom with our mobile devices to take a quick snap of our “forbidden fruits”.

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Sending nudes has become a click of a button away and does not need much consideration or effort put to it. We are surely in the 21st Century and gone are the days when we were satisfied with a lipstick stained love letter. We now want more.

GQ magazine acknowledges that 40% of youg people between 16-24 years of age accept nudes as a normal occurance in society bit.ly/2V1u7se

As conservative as we would like to be or to portray to the world, it is high time we accepted that in the dark hours of the night, some mobile phones are flashing on nether regions. It has become normal to recieve a steamy picture from a lover or random admirer. The snailing days of buying roses and dinner are gone.

However this nudes craze has brought about a new evil with it, and that is of REVENGE PORN. Most pictures that we have come to know as having “leaked” have been subjected to this ignoble circumstance. It herefore comes as no surprise that most people who find their pictures or videos circulating on porn sites and social media are victims of revenge porn. As the popular phrase asserts; Nothing is as dangerous as a scorned lover. It is a pity that some have learnt it the hard way. It becomes a shattering moment when those that they thought could be trusted with the most sacred parts of their bodies decide to fail/betray them.

Revenge porn has become a trend in the past years and in case you are wondering what revenge porn is, you are just about to know. Revenge porn is the issuing of sexually explicit images or video of individuals without their permission. The sexually explicit images or video is usually made by a partner of an intimate relationship with the knowledge and consent of the subject, or it may be made without his or her knowledge. This material is usually used as a weapon for vengeance by a scorned lover in a possible disagreement. It might also be used to blackmail for money and more sexual favours.

Recently a young couple’s video of them engaging in sexual intercourse leaked. Sources claim it was leaked by the guy in the video and judging from the cocky conversations on Twitter, one could tell the young gentleman did not have any remorse whatsoever regarding the incident. All he cared for mostly was to defend his lack of sexual stamina. I personally found it disgusting and think he deserved a punch on his mouth trap to keep it shut. It also led me to think maybe this was something committed with an ulterior motive behind it since the lady was mum about it and did not come out to defend anything. I decided to look for her and find out what she had to say about this whole debacle that had gripped Zim social media by its bull horns.

I had the opportunity to interact with the lady in the video (name withheld) thanks to a mutual friend. Hearing her side of things made me realise that whilst many were hell bent on arguing on the sexual prowess of the young man in the video, behind closed doors, lives were being ruined. From all of this, an unborn baby has been affected and a potential marriage arrangement has calm to a screeching halt. Family has been strained and as always at such times, friends have become few.

This is a summary of what she had to say;

The video was taken using his phone last year May (2018) at his friend’s place. Philathu is the one who leaked it (male in the video). Surely I do not know why he leaked it, but I think he only wanted to fix me (revenge) because I was in a straight relationship with someone else. Also since we had sex I was not  talking to him anymore because I felt dirty. This has affected me a lot especially the way my family and friends the take me. Its like I am a porn star or a slut of some sort. Despite what my family thinks it has destroyed my dignity and my relationship with my unborn baby’s daddy. I am now stuck, everywhere is dark. The most painful part is that I am going to raise this unborn soul alone because the father thinks I was sleeping around and it is hard for him to believe that it only happened once. I am lonely,depressed, traumatized, dirty just because of a once off thing. HE HAS DESTROYED EVERYTHING I HAD.

Being a victim of revenge porn can be very traumatizing to the psych and the emotional being of a person. It is a painful incidence that can leave you in a confused state of mind, not knowing how to pick yourself up. It is therefore of great concern how we as a society treat such cases of revenge porn. We are quick to attack and judge as if Christ made us his deputies on earth. The victim usually suffers the brunt with the perpetrator getting the vengeance that they wanted in the end. Cases of depression, and suicide have usually been the end product as such incidents are life changing over night and he victim has to adjust quickly.

There is nothing wrong with sharing intimate moments with your partner. However it becomes a problem when your partner decides to share it with a friend. It becomes worse if the friend shares with 3 other friends because sooner or later your pictures might end up in a porn WhatsApp group and someone is bound to recognise you and bring it back to the people close to you.

The question is what can be done to deal with such, especially since it usually has disproportionate ripple effects for the woman than her male counterpart. Hopefully the law allows for perpetrators to face the stern arm of justice. I strongly believe strong policies should be set to protect victims of revenge porn, that way we will have less cases of such incidences occuring. Our law enforcers need to be more vocal in their P.R campaigns and inform the public on steps to take in such instances.

In this case, it is clear that once the lady decided/agreed to press record on that mobile device, her life would be altered forever. However she needs to be told that it does not mean her life over. In commemorating International Women’s Day this month we should be celebrating the success and achievements of our mothers and sisters who have continued to be the pillars of our society since time immemorial. Pulling them down using such methods is just plain revolting.